Journey of A Nafs Part 1
The spirit of the person grows inside his body. For some people this growth is slow and gradual yet for other few the growth of the spirit is at fast pace. The growth of the spirit means the awareness through real knowledge – self-realization – that comes to the illuminated heart and purified soul.
Without body, the spirit or soul of the person is like someone with no legs. The body is the transporter, a container or simply legs of the spirit. The eyes, ears and rest of the senses are tools that help in exploring, cultivating experiences through observations and are the hands of the spirit. The heart is the place where your spirit resides.
Blind heart can never see the reality and thus remains busy in the worldly desires. The spirit with body and five senses remains crippled due to the ill treatment of soul given by heart. The heart full of desires is your nafs and lowly. The spirit of such person remains standing at a station where there is no traffic and the trains never run on those tracks. His state would be like the passenger with luggage in hand but nowhere to go. He is lost in the jungle of his own desires. This is the first stage called the Nafs of Ammarah where the person finds himself – all so addicted and attracted towards the worldly desires.
This stage of Nafs of Ammarah is very dangerous. His own body, hands, feet, tools to contemplate, and logic has gone against him and – his will – his mind – his soul is enslaved. This slavery continues and the person remains lost amidst the flow of his emotions in the heart. He feels angry and loses temper more often. He hardly can resist from being a spendthrift. All that matters to him is his arrogant and ignorant ego.
He is self centered and far away from the point of self-realization. He fights with or without any reason and destroys whatever that comes his way or bothers him. His conscious mind whispers to him no more. He hardly follows any religion or believes in what he says at all. His heart goes rusty – he has lost the tranquility and satisfaction to keep him relaxed – Nothing but repentance can release him off his aches and pains.
Soon the person finds him a solution and an end to his ailment. His spirit or soul has learned its lesson, grew tired of the less mobility, and wanting to break free the cage. New thoughts and ideas are striking his mind. He has his hands on more information and knows about new realities. It includes shown to him the real faces of his beloveds. The people whom he considered his friends turn out to be his biggest enemies.
He meets tragedies in life and knows of the bitter realities now. This is the time he is about to enter the second stage of nafs. It is called the Nafs of Lawamma. This is the stage where regrets develop and painful remorse grows. His heart begins to think of his Creator and the One whom he always had ignored. He wishes to get rid of his cowardice – lies – entrapments of desires to get freedom his heart ached for. This is when he finds him standing at a fork all the time. The heart begins to heal and start growing the wings to have the first flight outside his self-created realm and false universe.
This is the time he needs support. He is still not that strong. He needs to support and being told that he can do it if he struggles a little more. He needs to listen to the magical worlds that say ‘Everything is going to be ok.’ But this condition can be very much unpredictable. He might quit on what he received today and you might find him back to track next day. Following the next day, you find him on the same track and in the same cumbersome situation again.
His will power is not much stronger to support him to do the right thing and take the right step. So, he is still in the danger zone. One wrong word – a single wrong step – a small unlucky event, bad incident or mishap – can make him forget what he was told. This leads him back to the same point where he was standing a while ago. This is the state of confusion.
Continue for Part 2…
